Week 36 in Italy

So after 6 months in Sanremo, I will be heading up north to serve in Milano. I am excited and sad at the same time. I will be bottle-breaking, or follow-up training a sister, which means that she is going into her 3rd transfer and is just finishing up being trained. My companion will be staying here to train a new missionary.

It has been a crazy and slightly stressful week. Transfer weeks always are. But things will all work out. We have eaten enough in these past few days to solve world hunger... Literally  or three meal appointments every day. And we're talking Italian meal appointments. You don't just eat. YOU FEAST. I may or may not have gained like 5 pounds in the past three days. 

It's amazing how during the mission, all of our weaknesses just become amplified. There are some nights when I'm on my knees praying asking God to just change my heart so that I can be a better missionary and be a better tool in His hand. It's incredible how easily we can get in our own way. And even worse, we get in God's way. He can't work with someone who's prideful. He can't mold and fix and change someone who is selfish. He needs someone with a soft heart and a willing and open mind. I, unfortunately happen to be a pretty prideful person. And during my mission, I have been presented with several situations and opportunities to step down off my high horse, and just be humble and teachable. There are some lessons that take more time to learn. But it's okay to fail. It's okay to be weak. It's not okay to give up. Fail a million times if you have to. Fall on your knees and say a thousand prayers asking God to help you change if you have to. I certainly will continue to do so. I know that I am weak. I know that I'm not perfect. I continue to discover and understand what are my exact weaknesses, and I know that with prayer and with time, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, my heart will be changed. 

Maserati!

I remember when I was at home, I looked at the missionaries and thought wow. They're perfect! They've got it all together. They are amazing. I want to be like them. Well, I'm a missionary now, and I can tell you that we aren't perfect. We don't always have it all together, and we aren't always amazing. But I do try every day to let go of my weaknesses and give them over to my Savior. I am walking this long road of conversion and discipleship. It is bumpy sometimes and it isn't always comfortable. But the bumps and discomfort come from my own obstacles that I put in the way. I know that God loves us. I know that Christ loves us. I know that Jesus Christ will clear our path of those bumps and obstacles in the way. We just have to open our heart enough to let Him in and get to work. 

The mission is the most incredible experience of my life. It is so hard and so wonderful and so unique. I can hardly believe how quickly the days go by. I would not give back this time or this experience for anything. 

Tonight we will have a festa for me and for Anziano Tolman who will also be transferred to the exact same city and ward as me. I will miss Sanremo so much. I have learned so much here. I have seen and experienced so much here. But I know that I will continue to grow and learn and enjoy my mission in Milano. 

I am grateful for my weaknesses. I know that, as it says in Ether twelve: twenty-seven (the numbers on this keyboard don't work), we are given weakness so that we may be humble and then when we go to Christ with those weaknesses, he can turn them into strengths. That's what I'm striving to do with my many weaknesses. I invite and challenge all of you to do the same. 

I love you all. 

Love, 

Sorella Tokarski

Week 35 in Italy

We had a great week. We missed about two days in our city because we had a scambio in another city. We took a four hour train there and then spent two nights. We got some really good work done and I had a great time with my little sister. (Sorella Gunnerson, "my mom" is training again so I got to go with my "little sister". We worked hard and rode bikes! I almost died. But it was so great!!!!!!!

Then when we returned on Saturday, we had the baptism of Adoni! He's 8 years old and his mom is less active. We have taught him every single lesson from the very beginning. He is so great. So many members came. It was beautiful!

We have done a lot of finding work this week. Every investigator that had a baptismal date, now does not have one. For various reasons, there will be many delays and re-sets of dates. It's heartbreaking. But I know that God has a time and a place for everything. I am realizing the incredible huge role that our free agency has in everything. I am grateful that we have free agency. We literally can choose our own salvation. We also can choose the opposite. It's an awfully beautiful situation.

We had a large change happen in our branch presidency! Our President Bignami was released after 11 years as branch president and President Cangialosi was called. President Bignami served faithfully and with all of his heart and we were so grateful for his service. President Cangialosi is an amazing returned missionary, young (28 years old), and has a fire that will help Sanremo continue to progress. Watching the change take place was very powerful last sunday. At the end of the meeting, all of the members went up and began to hug and kiss President Bignami to thank him and show him their love. They then proceeded to hug and kiss President Cangialosi to thank him and show him their love and support. It was so beautiful to watch. My companion and I cried as we witnessed such a special moment. I learned in that moment how vital it is to love, support, and sustain our leaders and fellow brothers and sisters. It is SO important to pray for them, to encourage them, and to respect them. Every single calling has it's own challenges and blessings, but we need to do all that we can to sustain those that serve us. A calling is an opportunity to serve, not to be praised. I am so grateful for all of the faithful leaders in the church and I know that who God calls, He qualifies. We have to trust Him and trust in who He calls.

I love all of you! I am so grateful for your love and support. We will be getting transfer calls this saturday so we will find out if I stay or go! I don't feel prepared to leave sanremo. But I don't know if anyone every really feels prepared to leave a city.

Anyway. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ and for what He has done for me and my family. I know that He lives and that He loves each and every one of us. Follow Him! It will bring peace and happiness.

Have a great week!

Love,
Sorella Tokarski

Week 34 in Italy

Started off the week with a great p-day haircut. Well it was great. Until it started. I asked for a trim, and I got a chop. Ciao ciao 6 inches of precious hair... Dang it Italians... 

Anyway. It will grow. It will grow. 

We have had crazy weather in this past week! Floods and thunder and lightening. Several train routes were closed and canceled this past week. 

I've also heard crazy news that Ebola is back and is in several different countries and places now.... I'm TERRIFIED. Two of my biggest fears are ebola and world wars. Both of which are about to be taking over it sounds like.. Well, it's just proof to me that we are again living the Book of Mormon times and that Christ is literally about to come again. 

I unfortunately was sick again this week. I got a really bad cold and have sounded more like and Elder than a Sister in the past few days. My body might be weak, but I continue to feel the power and strength that come from obeying the commandments and truly doing my best to follow Christ. 

We did a lot of finding work this week and had several interesting experiences... One of which led to us committing to go to the home of this Jehovah's witness where she will have her other companions and church leaders waiting to speak with us... Pray for us! We are grateful for the opportunity to share the gospel with anyone and everyone. But sometimes, not every situation is ideal. And this particular situation is a little bit intimidating. But I know that as a called representative of Jesus Christ, we have authority and the spirit that no one else has. So there is no need to fear or worry! 

All three of our investigators that have baptismal dates have experienced some sort of major melt down this week. It is absolutely incredible to me how quickly the work goes from the top of the mountain, to the depths of the valley. It is so clear to me that as real as God is, there is also a very real negative influence. We can't acknowledge the existence of God without also acknowledging the existence of satan. He does everything that he can to throw people off of the right path. As soon as they start doing something right, he's right there to tempt and to torture and to distort. I know that God's power and wisdom are infinitely more grand, but it doesn't change the fact that the adversary will continue to try.  

I am so grateful for the love and support of you all. I felt it in an overwhelming way this week. Thank you for all that you do for me. 

Have a great week!!!!!

love, Sorella Tokarski 

Week 33 in Italy

Well, we had a lovely general conference weekend! We got to watch most of the sessions. The spirit I felt as I watched the prophets and apostles and leaders of the church speak to us, was so strong! I personally received several answers to questions that I had, and it was incredible to watch as others received their answers as well. We invited several people to come with questions prepared. One of our less active members came with a couple of specific questions. As we watched the women's conference together, her eyes filled with tears and she began to sob. She had almost immediately received two of the answers that she had been searching for. God truly does speak to us through his called and assigned servants. He loves His children and He will not leave us without a guide and a help. 

We had interviews with president and we had zone training. We lost a lot of time in our city this past week being on trains back and forth to Genova two different days. But it was great! We talked a lot about continuing to work well together in our cities and the importance and significance of our own personal proselyting areas. 

We also had the huge miracle of setting two baptismal dates this past week. A woman named Marlene from Peru accepted the invitation to be baptized on the 5th of October, as well as Marina who accepted the date of November 8th. Both are truly seeking and striving to follow and obey God's commandments. They are willing to sacrifice and change their lives to live in harmony with the teachings of the Savior. They inspire me! 

Alessandro has picked a new date of the 24th of October. He read the scriptures for the first time by himself this past week. MIRACLE. He has a real desire to do what's right. It's not easy. But it is absolutely possible and absolutely worth it. 

Yesterday was my companion's birthday and we worked hard every single second of it. We had appointments every hour of the day and we even had to do a split during the afternoon because we had to much work to do. It was great! And we also ate like a week's worth of food. I made her a special birthday breakfast, and then we went to a member's house for lunch: gigantic bowl of pasta, another gigantic plate of vegetables and an egg type thing, and then bread, and cake and a bowl full of straight cream. We almost died. Then we went to get gelato with a new convert. And then we had family home evening with a less active family who cooked us santo domingan food: potatoes, some yummy fried thing, fried banana stuff, SO MUCH RICE, chicken, and insalata russa. So. Much. Food. We still aren't really even hungry today... hahah. It was great. 

We are continuing to work hard and we're really trying to let the Lord guide His work here. It is so important in our lives and especially on the mission, that we can learn how to get out of The Lord's way. He is so much smarter, so much more capable, and so much better than we will ever be. When we can just turn ourselves over to Him and let Him work through us and truly guide every footstep, amazing things will happen! 

There is a lot of work to do in Sanremo. I am getting nervous that my time here might be coming to an end. Of course, nothing is final or decided yet, but I know that it's not very common for missionaries to stay in the same city for more than 6 months. This transfer makes 6 months of serving here in Sanremo. There is a lot left to do here and I'm not sure if I'll ever feel like I've done enough. But I am truly grateful for all of the growth and experience that I have gained thus far. 

God loves us. He guides us. He takes care of us. As we seek to do His will and just get out of the way, we will see miracles and we will feel His power and presence in our lives. 

Today marks my official halfway point in the mission... It is unreal to me that the time is going by so fast. I had a dream this week that I finished my mission and I went home. I saw my mom, and I ran to her to hug her. I cried with happiness. But after a second, I stepped away and said, Wait a minute... This isn't right... I need to be back in Italy! I need to still be a missionary! I don't want to be home! 

It was the strangest sensation... To know that it was over, and that I couldn't go back, but longing so badly to return and be a missionary again. It taught me the important lesson of just enjoying every moment that I have here. The mission is truly an incredible and life changing experience. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love it even when I hate it. It's the best thing that I have ever done. Prepare yourselves now for the various missions you will serve throughout your lives!!!!! Study Preach My Gospel. Follow the promptings of the spirit. Study the atonement. Do all that you can to share the gospel with those around you.

The restored gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It blesses families. It changes lives. I see it every single day. I love my Savior and I love my Heavenly Father. 

Make good choices! I love you all. 

Love, 

Sorella Tokarski 

Week 32 in Italy

Well well well. Found my first gray hair this week. Dang it. The mission truly ages you. Oh well. It happens.

This past week we went to a member's home who lives out in the boonies! It was gorgeous! We ate lunch and walked around their quaint little village. It was awesome and soooo beautiful. They also had this huge race car track thing. So we played with that for a bit...  

So Sunday night we still hadn't found a single investigator, and our goal was three for the week keeping in line with the zone vision. It was about 8:30. We were about to start some serious finding. We stopped to pray and asked to be lead and guided to where we needed to go. My companion said, "I think we need to go down this street." So we headed off! I see some people walking down the other side of the street, and I say, "Them! We need to talk to them!" So we cross quickly, and we head towards these three girls. We stop them and it turns out that we had already talked to one of them a month ago in a store one p-day. She has friends in the church down in Ecuador and was open to meeting with us, as well as her other two friends. So we taught them a quick lesson, said a prayer with them, and set an appointment to see them next week! It was incredible!!! MIRACLES.

  

We also had a great FHE with another family in the ward who had invited a less active family over. We ate, we talked, and we taught about patience. LA PAZIENZA. It was great. :) 

We also had a really powerful lesson this week with someone about forgiveness. When we don't forgive we hold on to a burden that desperately needs to be let go. It sinks deeper and deeper into our hearts and souls and it begins to destroy who we are. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Every aspect of our lives becomes darker and more difficult. I have such a strong testimony that it is absolutely necessary for our happiness and for our SALVATION that we forgive others and ourselves. It is so hard. But God forgives us every single day for all of the things that we do wrong over and over and over again. Who are we to deny someone else forgiveness? By denying forgiveness to someone else, we render ourselves unworthy to receive forgiveness from God. Through prayer, through coming to know who Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father are, and in some cases through help from church leaders, we can become free from the burdens that weigh us down. We can let go of our grudges and our pride and we can truly move forward with our lives. Forgiveness is one of the most effective medicines in the world. 

It really has been a great week!. We had several cancellations, but we are working hard to make up for appointments that fall through. My companion is great! She has a great knowledge of the scriptures and it has been a wonderful start to the transfer together. Alessandro continues to struggle to quit smoking. We will have to push back his baptismal date a week. But we know that he can do it! We need to step it up with setting baptismal dates. That will be our focus this week. 

We miraculously had 5 people come to church this past sunday. It was AWESOME. There are a lot of great people in this city that are truly ready to accept the gospel. We just need to find them!! 

GENERAL CONFERENCE OH MY GOSH. I am so excited! We have the incredible opportunity to listen to the prophets and apostles and leaders of the church speak to us. They will give us counsel and advice and direction. I can hardly wait! I encourage all of you to prepare a few questions that you have in your lives right now. They will absolutely 100% be answered during general conference. 

I absolutely love being a missionary. It is the greatest thing that I have ever done in my life. It has changed me and continues to change me and how I see the world and how I picture my future. I absolutely love the gospel and I love my Savior Jesus Christ. He carries me every single day. He gives me the strength that I need when I have nothing left to give. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of who I am and of the plan that God has for me. 

Heavenly Father answers prayers. He loves His children. He is a merciful. loving, and unchanging God. I know Him. And I love Him.

Be good! Make good choices! Love your brothers and sisters! 

Love, 

Sorella Tokarski