Week 5 in Italy

Well, it's been another strange week. The pain in my back has gotten worse, and there's rarely a moment throughout the day when I'm not hurting. The worst part is that it's apparently starting to become noticeable in lessons, so I'm really working on my happy-sister-missionary-i-don't-have-any-problems-ever face/attitude and hopefully it'll be less noticeable this next week.

Torino is called torino because it means little bull. So all over torino there are these bulls with water coming out of them... so we got a little crazy and decided to drink from them! we think it's safe!?

We basically just taught lessons this week. Our power went out on Thursday. Apparently you can't run your oven and washing machine at the same time! oops!

We did a scambio (exchange) on friday. I went down to a city called Genova for a day with one of our sister training leaders. She goes home in about 2 weeks. Sorella Lyman. She is a great missionary! We had a good time together. We only taught two lessons because the night we got there, the power went out (this happens a lot here) (you have to be really careful about how many things you run at one time), and the toilet broke. So we had a lot to deal with and figure out. But the train ride to Genova was GORGEOUS! Rolling hills, Italian architecture, so many colors, and ahhh. It was just so beautiful. Genova is famous for it's foccacia and also for it's pesto. We got foccacia...Twice. It was SO good.

The next day when we were switching back, Sorella Gunnerson and Sorella McCann (the other sister training leader) came back down from Torino and we all made enchiladas together for lunch. We were running a little late for our train and it was POURING rain. I haven't seen rain like that in a long time.. Anyway. So we sprinted across Genova to the bus and then thorugh the train station. The train was miraculously a few minutes late so we just barely made it. We rode back up and headed straight for the baptism of a man named Jean-Luca. Jean-Luca is amazing. He just walked into a church building one sunday and said "Hey, teach me about what you believe!" So the Anziani jumped on the opportunity, taught him, and he was ready to be baptized within about a month. Here, it usually takes people months and years to be willing to get baptized. But Jean-Luca knew it was right, and he has such a powerful testimony! He asked Sorella Gunnerson and I to do a special musical number at his baptism. We did "Come Thou Fount". Sorella Gunnerson sang it in Italian and I played the piano for her. It was the first time I've ever accompanied someone, but it was really cool! It was a powerful experience and the spirit was felt very strongly by everyone in the room. It was awesome.

Today for P-day, we went to Collegno, which is in our zone. It's where Sorella Jackman and Sorella Condie live. They always come to our side on p-day so we went there today! We just hung out, practiced our flashmob for tomorrow, and they made us lunch. And no p-day is complete without Gelato. So even though it's rainy and wet and cold today... We had to get it! Totally worth it.

The work is moving forward here. It is difficult. But it is slowly progressing. I am so grateful to be here working and serving. I love these people so much and I feel so blessed to be here. The language is coming along. I've been doing most of the phone calls this week (senior comp week) and it's really really intimidating, but if I don't understand something, Sorella G just helps me figure it out. I've also had to learn how to read a map... It's been very entertaining for her this week watching me try to figure out how to get to places.

Anyway. I love you all.

Thank you for your support!

Sorella Tokarski

Week 4 in Italy

This week was a struggle. We had a number of cancellations, and a number of rejections. We also had a number of really great positive things happen as well. Unfortunately, my back was really bad this week. I had to rest on sunday, monday night, and we didn't go out and do anything exciting for p-day today. For me, it's been extremely frustrating feeling like my own weaknesses are limiting the work we can do. I don't want to be the reason that someone doesn't hear the gospel. I have felt really frustrated and really upset the past couple days. But this morning, my mind was taken once again to Christ. The things that He suffered, the things that He went though, are far greater, far more painful, and far more difficult than I will ever have to face in my entire existence. I felt comfort and peace knowing that I am not alone. I am not the only one who has felt what I am feeling now. Christ knows perfectly, and because of His atonement, I have felt peace in my heart and mind that are helping me to move forward and find the right balance between taking care of my body and pushing myself. That balance is something that I have never been very good at... But I am doing my best to figure it out right now with the help of prayer and the guidance of the spirit. 

We had zone conference on monday, and it was awesome. We talked a lot about how we can best work with members. Members of the church and full time missionaries are meant to work together. The building up of the kingdom of God is not the sole responsibility of the full time missionaries. It is VITAL that the missionaries and the members work together in trust and love to share the gospel with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc. In my mind, the only difference between a member and a full time missionary is the name tag and the rules! (And we've been set apart by priesthood authority as full time missionaries.) If you find yourself thinking, "Man, I really love the gospel, and it has blessed my life in countless ways! But it's so hard and so scary to talk about it with anyone!" , then you are in the exact same place as me. Sharing the gospel can be scary. But why? Rejection. We fear that our attempt to share this incredible and wonderful blessing that we have been given with those around us might result in some sort of awkward situation or a lost friendship. But I testify and promise that you will never EVER  regret sharing your testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ, the love our Heavenly Father has for us, and the message of the restored gospel. Give the missionaries referrals! PLEASE! Work with them! Invite your friends to activities or dinners or lessons where the missionaries will be present. Ask the missionaries if you can go to lessons with them! There will never be a better time than right now to share the message and hope that the restored gospel bring. When we share the gospel with others, we are showing our gratitude to our Father in Heaven for all that we have been given, and especially for all of the blessings that the gospel has brought into our lives. I know that as missionaries and members seek to work together. The gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It brings happiness, peace, and comfort to all who live it. How could you not want to share those things and those blessings with the ones you love and care about? 

Anyway. That's it for my member missionary schpeel. 

I am so grateful to be here right now. It is difficult. My body hurts. I am exhausted. I feel so many emotions throughout the day for myself, for the people we teach, for all of you back home. There are challenges that come every single day. But there are countless tender mercies. There are countless moments of relief and joy. 

My companion and I got to sing together at the zone conference on Monday. We basically just walk around Torino singing together all day, as well as talking to people. We've gotten really good at taking songs and changing them to be mission/gospel related. We actually did it with one song, and decided to teach it to the other sorelle in our district. Our final district meeting of the transfer will be next monday. Our district leader will be heading home that week. His two years are up! So we decided that at that last meeting, we're going to do a flash mob with this song... Hopefully one of the sorelle will record it, and I can send it next week. Should be fun! 

Anyway. 

All my white laundry got ruined this week. Oops. 

(Mom. I'll email you... I need a few favors!)

Also, I haven't mentioned this yet, but we teach an english class every wednesday night with the Anziani. The four of us teach english to anyone that wants to come! It's really fun. 

Next week will be 5th week, which means that I will be senior companion. Basically I'll be in charge of the map, figuring out how to get us everywhere and anywhere, answering the phone, and keeping track of all the numbers... I'm a little nervous... I feel like I'm not ready to take over on the phone yet! I have a hard enough time understanding people in person, let alone on the phone! But I'll just pray extra hard next week. 

I love you all. 

Thanks for your prayers. :)

love,

sorella tokarski

Week 3 in Italy

Wow. Another great week in my favorite place! It went by so fast I can hardly remember what happened... 

Hermis was confirmed this past sunday!! (He was a little bit late to church the sunday after he was baptized, so he had to wait an extra week.) It was incredible! He was just glowing the rest of the day.

This past week, we've had a lot of appointments fall

through or cancel. Monday in particular was a really hard day. Every appointment canceled, and when we went to the park to find people to teach, everyone shot us down or said unkind words. I got to a point where I just didn't want to talk to anyone for the rest of the day! But, I am slowly learning that this is just how missionary work goes. We do our best, we speak to everyone, and they have the choice to listen or to reject us. Although it breaks my heart to see these people that are so unhappy and closed off, I know that I can only do my part, and the rest is up to them to listen and to open their hearts.

We taught Family Home Evening last night. It wasn't quite the turn out we were hoping for, but it was still great! We read from Alma chapter 46 about when Moroni makes the title of liberty. We discussed that for a little bit, and then we made our own titles of liberty stating what we believe, what we stand for, and what our purpose is. 

One of our investigators, is seriously one of my heroes. She has such incredible faith and such a strong testimony. She is moving in 2 weeks and it makes me so sad! But she has the biggest heart. She won't get baptized yet because her husband doesn't support her in that decision. But she continues to meet with the missionaries here and will continue to meet with the missionaries in her new city. She is looking forward to the day that her husband supports her decision to be baptized and she will be able to join the church. 

During one of our lessons with her this week, she looked at my comp and said "You understand and speak much better..." Then she looked at me and said "I'm sorry, but I'm going to look at her and speak because she understands more!" hahaha I just giggled and said "Okay!" I love that woman though!

Later that day on the bus, I handed out a pass along card with our number on it about the Book of Mormon to a lady on the bus. I said "Here's your number!" Meaning to say "Here's our number!! The language mistakes will probably never end. But I've just accepted it by now. 

Sometimes it feels like this mission will be the rest of my life. I can't ever imagine what life will be like after this. It seems like there will never be a time that I'm not serving this mission. It's a really weird feeling. But I am going to just enjoy every single day I have here. I can't believe I've almost been here for a month already. Time is flying. 

For Pday today, I think we walked like 10 miles. It felt like we walked all over Torino. We went to this HUGE church called "Gran Madre Di Dio" or "The Great Mother of God". It was massive! Then we ventured up some cobblestone and steep hills and found a ginormous Pride and Prejudice type house. I felt like Mr. Darcy was about to turn the corner at any moment. It was gorgeous inside and out. The view from the property was incredible. 

It's days like today that I realize OH MY GOSH I'M IN ITALY! And I am just overwhelmed with gratitude and excitement. I love it here. I love the people. I love the overly crowded and almost always sticky public transportation, I love the endless apartment buildings, the architecture, ahhh. I just love everything about it. I feel so lucky to be serving in a place with so many incredible people.

I am so grateful for the gospel in my life. I see the way that it changes peoples lives. I see people without the gospel every single day. We ask people on the street "What makes you happy?" So many times the answer is "NIENTE!" Which means "nothing". It hurts my heart to know that people really don't have happiness. They have nothing in their lives that brings them joy. I am so grateful for the incredible joy that the gospel brings me and the peace that it brings. I testify that the only way to find true happiness is through knowing, understanding, and living God's plan for us. We find that plan and understand that great plan of happiness through the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I love being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I wear my name tag with pride. 

Thank you for your continued support and love. You guys are the best!!! 

Love,

Sorella Tokarski

Week 2 in Italy

Wow. Don't have a ton of time today. This will be pretty short. 

We have been having tons of rain. Every day. It pours. But it makes things a fun adventure. Luckily today for p-day, it was sunny! :)

So one important thing I've learned so far. ALWAYS GO RIGHT. I have almost kissed a few ladies on the mouth.... Whoops. I usually forget about the cheek kisses, and when I do remember, I awkwardly go to the wrong side and then things get weird.. Goal: don't have any awkward almost mouth kiss moments this week.

We had a baptism last Wednesday night! His name is Hermis! He is awesome! Even though I didn't get to teach him at all pre-baptism, his baptism was a really cool experience for me. There isn't a cooler feeling than being a missionary at a convert baptism... I felt like I was on could 9! My heart was just filled with happiness and I just couldn't stop smiling. It was an incredible experience.

The city is big, but I'm starting to get a better feel for it. I'm also getting used to the public transportation, the uneven sidewalks, the endless cigarette smoke, and yes. The gypsies.

We're teaching a few investigators right now. Teaching lessons is hard, but I also feel like I understand the most and can say the most. My companion is really good at the language, so it's hard to not just sit back and let her talk the whole time. But I really tried harder to speak up this past week. I made lots of mistakes, but what better way to learn?

The food here is a 50/50 split. I either love it, or I reeeeeeally don't love it. Sometimes we go to members houses and they don't feed us at all, and sometimes we go to members houses and they won't stop feeding us. I almost threw up on someones table last week. I was SO incredibly full. I was praying that God would just help me keep it down until we left their house. God answers prayers. 

During one of our lessons this week, I thought our investigator was asking us if we were allowed to go to the temple while serving our missions. I responded very confidently "Well, we don't have a temple here in our mission boundaries so we can't!" In italian. It turns out that she actually asked us if we were allowed to watch tv while serving our missions. AND that is why we have experienced senior companions. 

We had a special new missionary training in Milano yesterday. We had a total of 4 hours on a train yesterday and about an hour and a half of combined metro and bus riding. It was a long day. But the training was great. 

I am so grateful to be here. I am so grateful to be serving this mission. I have learned a lot from the people that I am teaching and speaking with. 

A couple things I've learned:

1. Miracles don't precede faith. 

If we want to see miracles happen in our lives, have faith. Faith leads to action. As we act on our faith and become more like our Savior, we will see miracles. And more importantly, we will be able to notice the smaller miracles in our lives every single day. 

2. When Christ was on the earth, His life wasn't easy for a single moment. 

Thinking about the tremendous suffering, the excruciating pain, and the endless torment He faced especially the last few days of His life, He truly experienced the absolute worst of everything. IF He, our perfect elder brother and example, "descended below all things..." and experienced the most difficult and trying circumstances of every being to ever walk the face of the earth, then why for a single moment should we expect this life to be easy for us? Why for a second should we expect to not feel pain, to not suffer at times, to not have heart ache and trial? In order to become more like Christ, in order to become more like the human beings that God wants us to be, we MUST experience hard things. We must experience pain. In those moments, we turn to our Savior, the only one who fully and completely understands, and we lean on Him. We rely on Him. We trust that after all that He experienced and went through, we too can make it through our dark moments, and find peace and comfort in His arms. 

I know that this missionary work is the work of God. I have felt His love flowing through me for these people that I see and talk to every single day. No matter what they say to me, or how they look at me, I feel a small fraction of what Heavenly Father feels for them. I can't help but want them to know Him. I can't help but want them to feel His love and experience the peace and joy that come from living the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I am so grateful to be here. I am so grateful to be a representative of Christ. I know that He stands with me as I testify of Him and His love. I feel His strength and power each day. 

There are moments every single day that I have to pray in my heart and mind for strength, for health, for safety, for the energy to keep walking. I continue to be given, in the very moment that I need it, that strength, that energy, and the love that I need to move forward. 

I love you guys! Thank you for the support and prayers. 

love, 

Sorella Tokarski

ps. sorry. in the pic with hermis, we are both looking at sorella gunnersons's camera, but he's looking at mine! oops!

We also made an incredible lasagna this past week. from scratch. be proud!