Third Week in MTC

First of all, will someone please thank the Kofords for me for their sweet message through dear elder? They sent it my first week in the MTC and it was so awesome to hear from them and get encouraging words from them. :) 

Being here at the mtc is a huge blessing. It's also a huge challenge. I constantly have to remind myself why I'm really here, and who I'm really here for.

Basically this week was really hard for me. I missed home, family, Elder Perez, friends, just everything. I had a hard time focusing. But I have been praying for the strength that I need to move forward, and I have felt a little bit better each day since thursday.

Saturday night my Sorelle (sisters) in my district and I played hang man in Italiano for our language study. It was super fun! I can't say Italy anymore. Every time I say it, it just comes out as Italia. It's funny. Sometimes my companion and I are talking in English, but we'll say a word in Italian by accident and then we both freak out because we're so excited that the language is starting to stick.

So sundays here are the absolute best! I love them. Every sunday morning, they serve cereal for breakfast and everything is paper/plastic so that they don't have to have as many workers in on sunday. The food every other day is mostly good. We get 3 meals a day and we have 30-40 minutes for each, and then the rest of the day is either study time or class time or teaching time. 

I'm exhausted all the time. I've just accepted the fact that I'll be tired for basically the duration of my mission. 

I am trying so hard to understand and learn the language. It's hard... I struggle a lot with the grammer. I understand most of the verbs and conjugations, but then you get into different tenses and my mind explodes. I find that I speak and understand the most when my companion and I are teaching our "investigators" (they're really just our teachers acting as a character or someone that they personally taught or met while serving their missions.) (But they're really good at acting like they don't speak any english and like they don't know anything about the gospel)

We get gym time every day of the week except sundays and our P-days. We just exercise whenever we want on p-days... I've been doing 40 pushups and 40 sit ups a day. Last week was 30, and this coming week will be 50. I'm doing my best to really utilize my 50 minutes of gym time. I usually walk or get on the elliptical first. (I wish I could run.) Then I'll do a number of different strength and toning exercises like planks, my pushups and situps, squats, leg lifts, wall sits, lunges, and calf raises. Then I spend a few minutes stretching. I've noticed improvements in my strength and endurance. I can plank for more than twice as long as I could when I first got here, and I can wall sit for a lot longer as well. I know that God is helping my body to make improvements that I've never been able to make before on my own, as long as I am striving to work hard and take care of myself. 

I love and appreciate the support that I've continued to receive from my family and friends. It means the world to me to get a letter, or to get an email. It just keeps me pushing forward knowing that I have support and love from home. A mission is so hard... But it has been life changing so far. I'm so excited that I get to continue to learn, grow, and become more humble. 

I hope everyone is doing well! I love you all. :)

con amore,

Sorella Tokarski

Second Week in MTC

I never understood the phrase "the days feel like weeks and the weeks feel like days", until now. When we first entered the MTC, people said that phrase all the time... But I now understand it and it is SO true. The days take forever... They feel so long. But then at the end of the week, you think to yourself how quickly it went by. 

I had a really great week! Last Tuesday, a group of us Italian missionaries got to leave the MTC, go on a train to Salt Lake City, and go to the Italian consulate. We had to make a physical appearance in order for our visas to go through. It was a super great day and we had a fun time on the train, and riding the Trax downtown salt lake to get to the actual consulate. We had Jimmy Johns for lunch that day, and I thought of you Dad. :) Leaving the MTC for that trip was exciting, and it made me even more excited to leave for Italy, but it also made me a little bit more nervous. The MTC is just this big safe bubble. It'll be intimidating to be out in the real world again without the assistance of our teachers and endless language resources and references. 

So while at the consulate, I found out that I'll be flying to Texas, then to London, and then finally to Milan. So I'll be able to call home three different times from the different airports! :)

On that same night, we had Elder Bednar come and speak to us. His testimony of the Book of Mormon was so strong and so powerful. It was so touching to me to hear and feel the truth of his words and I will never forget what I experienced that night. 

On wednesday night I wrote in my journal about how rowdy my district was! Hahaha. There comes a point when you've been studying and learning Italian and the principals of the gospel for so many hours, that you just can't focus any longer. When we hit that point, we usually just end up laughing deliriously, joke around and tell stories, and enjoy each others company. Then Anziano Sorddes ends up giving us a big long lecture, and everyone tunes out except me because I'd feel bad if every one in the room ignored him... I'm just enjoying every moment here, and my testimony is growing every single day. 

Being a missionary is the best. I love the spirit that I feel ALL the time. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I wouldn't be feeling and experiencing what I am if it was not. Even with the struggles and difficulties that come every single day, I know that they are for my benefit and they are to help me to learn to more fully rely on my Savior. I know that this experience that I am having at this time in my life is exactly what I need to become more like the family member, wife, and mother that Heavenly Father wants me to be. 

On Thursday, we had service first thing in the morning. All we had to do was put up flags from different countries all around the MTC, which was really fun! Then we cleaned windows and glass doors. It was great! :)

Friday was a really hard day. I was exhausted in every possible way. A mission is hard work, and I'm barely into my seccond week of being in the training center. The schedule is extremely full and demanding, the language is difficult, companions are hard to deal with, and it's really easy to feel incapable and inadequate. But each obstacle and difficult thing that I've faced so far, has been far outweighed by the incredible spirit that I feel, the inspiration that I receive every day, and the ways that I have learned and grown thus far. I have to constantly remind myself of why I'm here, what this is really about, and that this time of my life belongs completely to my Savior. Basically, being a missionary can feel really bipolar, but it is all largely dependent upon attitude, and remembering your purpose. 

All of us sister missionaries were talking about how we just cry all the time now. We're all so much more sensitive now. At devotionals and and talks, we cry, getting letters from home, we cry, sharing our testimonies, we cry, singing hymns together as an MTC, we cry. We're all just a bunch of bawl babies now!

Shari Dew came to speak to us on Sunday night and she spoke a lot about being completely focused on our missions and asking for and receiving help from Heaven every day. It was great!

I also saw the guy from The District! He's the blonde haired one who quit his band to go on a mission. It was crazy.. I was like oh wait...... I KNOW THAT GUY! hahah it was pretty funny. 

I am so proud and honored to wear a name tag that has both my name, and the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, on it. I love him with all of my heart. I know him, and I know that he is with me every single day. He has always been here and and is always there for each and every single one of us. I don't know how. But I know that he is. Often, we don't realize his presence. It took me getting to the MTC, being fully immersed into his teachings for me to realize how close by he really is. But I can now see very clearly his hand in my life, and I feel his love for me daily. I am strengthened, uplifted, and at times carried by him. I know that my weaknesses don't matter to him. He accepts my best no matter how imperfect it may be, and through him, my weaknesses can be made strengths. He makes up the rest when I fall short, which I do every single day. 

I don't know how many people will be willing to listen to the message that I am humbly preparing to share. I don't know how many doors I will have slammed in my face. I don't know how many names I'll be called or how many times I'll be made fun of. I don't know how many families and individuals God has prepared specifically for me to teach with the aid of the spirit. But what I do know is that Jesus Christ lives. He stands at the head of his church today and through a modern day prophet, leads and guides us. He atoned for the pains, sins, and heartaches of every single human being. He sacrificed all and endured all for the sole purpose of creating a way for us to return home to him and to our Father in Heaven. I know him. I love him. I desire to be like him; to love selflessly, to teach humbly, and to become perfect as he is through his atonement and grace. 

Words can not accurately describe my feelings for my Savior, for my Heavenly Father, or for my love of the gospel. But I hope that my actions and service for him now and the rest of my life will show what my words can't say. 

I love you all. :)

Enjoy your week. 

Until next monday, 

Sorella Tokarski

First Week in MTC

Wow! What an incredible first week.

Wednesday was total immersion. Our first class was taught entirely in Italian. My district and I all just looked at each other like, "um what is she saying???" But it was awesome. Each class is taught that way. It's super helpful. I had super bad stomach pains all day... Non bene... But oh well! I survived. All of the new missionaries had the opportunity to teach a few investigators as a group and it was a really special experience. We all felt the spirit so strongly and it was a great first day. 

Thursday felt like a marathon. I've never studied so much in my entire life. It's insane!! I've never heard so many languages before either, except in Disneyland. (Also I apologize ahead of time. I'll probably have a milion spelling errors. I'm typinga s fast as I can, And my mind is in italian spelling mode.. So.. be warned.) But anyway. I know I"m supposed to be here. I love my district a ton! Our teacher is awesome. She served her mission in Rome and got back about a year and a half ago. She speaks beautifuly and is so helpful. 

On friday, my companion and I taught our first investigator (he is a member, just acting like an investigator to give us good practice.) Sorella Quinten and I are super different. We see things differently and want to teach in completely different ways. I think we compliment each other well as companions because we both can learn a lot from each other. She is super cute and so nice. Our "investigators" name is Simone. He speaks beautiful Italian. He also pretends that he doesn't know english so we have to do our best to understand and speak the language. It was so intimidating during that first lesson. But we did our best to teach with the spirit and we asked God for help. I feel like I am progressing in the language a lot faster and a lot more than I thought I would or could only 5 days into it. I know that God is answering my prayers and is helping me. I am just so in love with being a missionary and everything that I get to do here. 

I need more endurance now than I  ever have before in my life. We are either studying, learning, teaching, praying, eating, or sleeping. And the eating and sleeping don't last for very long. hahah. It's a very very rigorous schedule. I'm exhausted, but I have been richly blessed by feeling the power of God in my life and feeling the spirit every single moment I've been here.

I haven't gotten any mail yet, and everyone else in my district has... 

MOM AND DAD; PLEASE ask Brynn about Dear Elder. It's awesome. 

Sorella Quinton and I taught Simone again on Saturday and it went super good!! We spoke and understood so much more than we did the day before. 

Meal times are super fun because we sit with our district and the other people going to Italy. Our district leader is Anziano Diego. He's hilarious, has a strong testimony, and is a really good leader. His companion is Anziano Sorrdes, he's from france and has a thick accent. He's super tall and skinny and has really big glasses. We always ask him to say things with un accente americana. He attempts, and it's always a good laugh. Sorella Lawrence and Sorella Johnson are the other two sisters in our district. lawrence is insanely sweet, kind, and weirdly reminds me of aunt jojo. Sorella Johnson is super athletic and has really big eyes and has a great sense of humor. She's so fun to be around. Sorella Quinton and I share a room with them. Sorella Q is tall, skinny, has short blonde hair, and is super sweet. I'm so grateful that she is my companion. 

I have never had to rely on my savior more than I do right now. This is hard. But it is also incredibly rewarding. I know I"m supposed to be here, and I know that this is waht God wants me to be doing right now. This experience is like nothing I've ever done before... But it's so amazing. The days take forever here, but the week has gone by super fast. 

Sunday was incredible. I was so spiritually fed. I recieved so much personal revelation as to how to be a better missionary, how to be a better companion, and how I can be a better family member and future wife. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. My testimony of its truth has grown and been strengthened so much in the past five days.

Today got to go to the temple. It was awesome. One of the elders in our zone was going through for the first time and it was so neat to be there for that. On our walk back to the MTC, there were protesters outside of the gates. They yelled at us and told us we were going to hell and that our church is an abomination. We just smiled and continued to walk back and enter the MTC campus. I don't know about you, but sharing thoughts, opinions, and beliefs in that way isn't very Christ like in my opinion. God wants us to share the gospel and share our testimonies with love and conviction, not with malice and hatred. Anyway. Overall it's been a great week. 

I think the best thing I learned this week is that this mission is not about me. It's not for me. It's not my time. This mission is for my God and for my Savior Jesus Christ. I want to serve them with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I am out here for them and to glorify their names. I am out here to be a tool in their hands to bring their gospel to the people of Italy. I love you all. Thank you for your support and kindness. It means so much to me. 

MOM and DAD- you're amazing. Thank you so much for your examples to me of how to live a righteous life and how to love others. 

Quinten- I love you so much. I fully support you in your desires to finish high school and become a successful person. 

Nicholas- You're amazing.... I love you. Continue to be a good example to the family. 

Kelly- I love you sweet girl. Stay strong right now. I care about you and can't wait to hear from you soon!

I pray for all of you every day. I love you guys. 

Until next week,

Sorella Tokarski

The drop off!

Giving our last hugs, kisses and advice! She was so ready that as she was escorted down the side walk into the MTC she never even looked back. Probably didn't hurt that she had a handsome MTC Elder as her escort...

One more day!

On our way to the Salt Lake Temple we heard someone say "Sonja!". It was Sister Brock from the Salem Stake serving on Temple Square. Her companion is to the left (from Guatemala) and the other companionship are sisters from Denmark and Italy!