Wow. What an incredible week! I'm adjusting to San Remo
pretty quickly. Coming from huge Torino, to tiny San Remo was a nice change of
pace. Most of our appointments are a twenty minute walk at most. Most of them
are within about 5 minutes or so. This past week we had a lot of appointments
cancel on us, but that allowed for a massive chunk of ricerca (finding) time.
We had a goal of finding 7 new investigators last week, and we were able to
find 8! Finding new investigators can be a big challenge, but the key we found
with finding new investigators is just talking to absolutely everyone and
anyone that we come in contact with. We prayed fervently all week to meet our
goals and for the guidance of the spirit so that we could truly find those that
are ready and open to hear the message of the restored gospel. Many of
our lessons were taught just on the street. In order for it to be considered a
lesson, we have to share a principle, and say at least one prayer. At the
beginning of the week, it was really weird for me to ask to say a prayer with
someone on the street who we had just barely met and who most likely would say
no.. But as we did it more and more, we were amazed by how many people were
open to listening to a short spiritual message and saying a prayer with us. By
the middle of the week, we decided that we didn't want to just teach a lot of
one prayer lessons. So we started asking if we could start the spiritual
thought with a prayer and finish with a prayer as well. (all of this was after
the initial first moment of us going up to someone and asking if they believed
in God or if they would like to hear a short message) I was really nervous at
first. But as I thought more and more about who these people are that I come in
contact with every day, I started to feel less and less scared. 
The overwhelming feeling that I had this week was that we
really are all brothers and sisters. We really all did live together before
this life. When we stop someone on the street and ask if we can share a message
with them, it's not just to get a lesson or a number, or just because it's our
job as missionaries. We are literally stopping our brothers and sisters. As I
thought about that more and more, the prospect of just being bold and speaking
to everyone became less scary. Sure it's still a little nerve wracking to put yourself out there. But I am truly finding and feeling such a deep love for these people here in Italy and here in San Remo that I want to stop them and talk to them. I want to share my testimony with them and pray with them and for them right there on the street so that they can feel God's love.
We talked to A LOT of people this week, and I was
overwhelmed by how many people would look me in
the eye and say, Non c'e un
Dio. Se c'e un Dio, perchè ci sono tanti personne che soffrono?! Perchè c'e le
personne malvagi?! (There is no God. If there is a God, why are there so many
people that suffer? Why are there so many evil people?) In that moment, I just
want to wrap my arms around them. What I wish that we could explain in those
few seconds before they turn on their heels and walk away is that we live in
an imperfect world full of imperfect people. We have been given the incredible
ability and gift of free agency! We can choose! We can act for ourselves. But
along with that gift comes consequences. Sometimes we suffer consequences
because of our own actions. Sometimes we suffer because of someone else's
actions. But God doesn't inflict the world with wickedness and evil things. He
cries and weeps for His children that suffer. He wants so badly for us to be
happy. For that exact purpose, He sent Christ to the earth. He knew that there
would be wicked people. He knew that there would be suffering. Christ atoned
for the world. He took upon himself every pain, sorrow, and all suffering that
this world has ever known so that we can find peace through the pain. We can
find light in the moments of darkness. We can find console and someone who
knows perfectly what we feel when we suffer because of others. God has not
abandoned us, nor will He ever abandon us. We have a loving and perfect God who
sent a loving and perfect son to suffer, atone, die, and then be resurrected for
every single one of us. Where is God? Why do people suffer? Why is there evil?
God is here. People have always suffered and will always suffer, but never more
than what Christ did, and because God loves us, we have a Savior to turn to for
comfort. Evil exists because the world is not perfect. But God loves us. He
can't take back His promise and gift to us of free agency. But we are not alone.
I just wish that every person in the world could understand
what I am just now realizing. I am so grateful for this mission. I am learning and
realizing things that I could never understand before. I am meeting so many
incredible and wonderful people.
The beautiful thing about this experience is that I get the
blessing and curse of feeling a tiny particle of what Heavenly Father feels for
His children. We had an incredible lesson with a wonderful young woman who is
working towards being baptized on June 1st. She was so joyful, and so happy,
and I can't describe the happiness that I felt during that lesson. An hour
later, we had a lesson with a woman who said that she doesn't want to meet with
us anymore, and will never come back to the church because she was offended
several years ago and refuses to come back. Unfortunately, I lost it and just
sobbed right in front of her. I just felt in my heart and soul this ache for
her.
In these moments, I am reassured that God loves us more than
we can possible comprehend. He hurts and cries when we do. He smiles and jumps
for joy when we do.
Anyway. I'm grateful for the gospel and the peace and light it
brings into my life.
Shout out to the fam:
Dad, you're such an incredible spiritual rock. You are so
strong and so smart and I hope to someday have the same strength as you.
Mom, you have such a huge heart and you love so much! I am
grateful for your example of continuing to serve those around you especially
within the family.
Q, you have so many incredible talents and abilities. You
have been so blessed and I know that your potential in this world is
endless.
Nick, your ability to do what's right and overcome obstacles
is amazing. You are wise beyond your years and you know right from wrong.
Kelly, you have such a bright, beautiful light about you and
you are such a wonderful example of love and kindness to everyone that knows
you.
I love you all so much, and I am so grateful for the continued
support and prayers.
Be good.
Love,
Sorella Tokarski
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